toaster-tips

4 out of 5 dentists recommend eating toast or getting toasted…not sure which it was?

Toaster Tip #298

Here is the tip:

If you tell the short people that you are the Boss of the Applesauce they expect you to KNOW EVERYTHING.

Here’s the story…

6 year old:  Is this my fruit punch?

Me: Yes

6 year old: (takes drink of fruit punch) It’s cold!

Me: Uh yea!

13 year old: Duh stupid.

6 year old: Mom why is it …cold…something is wrong.

Me: I don’t know. I’m not the boss of the fruit punch.  Ask your Dad.

Everyone else (but me of course): Dad!

13 year old: She’s the Boss of the Applesauce not the fruit punch. Duh.

You should know that whilst I am typing this bit of wisdom, the 11 year old is extremely upset that she was not mentionned in the previous redition of tonight’s escapade in our kitchen. I told her to back off becasue I am the Boss of the Applesauce andI decide who does and does not make it into my blog.  Plus, since only about 3 people actually read this, it probably doesn’t matter anyway.

PS:  Said eleven year old has just started calling herself one one as in 11.  Weird right?  Now you know why I am the way I am.

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Toaster Tip #549

Just say NO.

Single Hot Neighbor:  Charlie, you need a goat.

Charlie:  Mom, can I get a goat?

Me: No.

See.  It’s easy.  Thank you, Nancy Reagan.

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Toaster Tip #823

First of all you need to know that I DO NOT like Oreo cookies.  They are weird.  The cream and the crunchy just not for me.  This is important back story for understanding this particulat blog post.

Toaster Tip #823.

Your children will NOT FAIL to throw you under the perverbial bus if necessary.

Dad: Wow.  Who ate all of the oreas?

6 year old: Mom

Whoever says children don’t lie is an idiot.

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Toaster Tip #823

First of all you need to know that I DO NOT like Oreo cookies.  They are weird.  The cream and the crunchy just not for me.  This is important back story for understanding this particulat blog post.

Toaster Tip #823.

Your children will NOT FAIL to throw you under the perverbial bus if necessary.

Dad: Wow.  Who ate all of the oreas?

6 year old: Mom

Whoever says children don’t lie is an idiot.

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